Handling Rejection

I was asked for a 10 min presentation addressing parents and teens on mental health related topic. My topic was “Handling rejection” as it aligns with the time high school seniors would be receiving acceptances/rejections from the Universities.

Two days before the event I was informed that the organizers do not have enough time to accommodate my slot. Ironic right? How did I handle it?

1. I was bummed that I won’t be presenting by well prepared speech.

2. ⁠I felt sad that they didn’t inform me until I approached them to confirm the event.

(Feeling sad/upset/bummed is completely fine. As long as we are not losing control of our emotions)

3. ⁠I went through my speech and told myself that the rejection is for the slot or the presentation. I was not rejected as a person.

(Important to make this distinction which helps us to see things from non emotional perspective )

4. ⁠I felt that this as an opportunity for me to strengthen myself handling disappointments.

5. ⁠I shared with a person who validated my feelings (it’s important to have people who understands situation and empathize with you rather than taking sides/dismiss/try to solve it for you)

6. ⁠With the friend’s encouragement I messaged the organizer that I would appreciate them proactively reaching out and informing me. ( This step is needed to talk boldly about what I felt without criticizing them)

I felt better after my feelings are validated by myself and by my friend.

Validation is key in handling uncomfortable emotional situations. It is not easy to follow through these steps all the time. At times I forget to do it with my children and things go out of control. How do I feel normal? Repeat the cycle- acknowledge my own feelings and theirs and make amendments (apologize to them right way and be gentle with myself) and move on.

Do you know how to validate?