Notes from the practice

Background

This group began after I found myself repeating the same information to six different parents about what helped my child get into university. Parents often asked about AP courses, extracurriculars, research or outside academic opportunities, counselor support for essays, and choosing colleges and majors. Many also shared concerns about the pressure of getting into the right college.

It can be difficult to gather this kind of information even from a few families with recent high school graduates. That led me to create a space where I could present the journeys of local high school graduates to a larger group of parents, reducing the stress of finding reliable resources. During these presentations, willing parents also share the dos and don'ts from their own experiences.

Progress

The initial goal was to increase awareness of the components involved in the college application process and reduce the fear of missing important resources. Over time, we began inviting college counselors to speak about finding the right colleges, selecting majors, and writing strong essays.

To date, the group has covered: College Admissions & Application Strategy; College Essays & Writing Support; Financial Aid, Scholarships & Planning; STEM and Major-Specific Pathways; Career Exploration & Professional Journeys; Parent Panels & Family Guidance; Mental Health, Wellness & Student Life; High School Course Planning & Academic Strategy; Research, Activities & Extracurricular Development; General College Readiness & Transition to College.

We have hosted 90+ sessions so far. You can find the full list of events on the Events page.

I am grateful for the presenters and for the parents for their support in my offerings.

Purpose

The main purpose of this group is to reduce the stress surrounding the college application process by increasing awareness of the steps involved. Random, one-off sessions can make it difficult to gain clarity, so I offer structured weekly sessions based on parent requests.

By hearing from high school graduates, current college students, recent college graduates, and subject matter experts, parents learn about the many paths and options available to support their teens. Another important purpose is to reduce communication friction between parents and teens regarding academic progress. Listening to other students' experiences — their successes and mistakes — often helps parents adjust how they communicate with their own children.

My hope is that decisions about course selection, extracurriculars, counseling support, and college or major choices are well researched and well informed. I want the time and money invested in a child's future to feel worthwhile, not disappointing or compromising.

Future

When I started this group, my only intention was the purpose described above. Over the past few years, through my work as a facilitator and as a life coach and parent coach, I have realized that our kids need more than academic and extracurricular preparation. They also need strong life skills and emotional regulation.

Some of the questions that guide this next phase include:

• Can they handle the challenges of college life? • Without constant parental pressure, can they thrive? • Can they stay healthy and make responsible decisions? • Can they complete their education? • Can they cope with rejection and failure? • Can they adapt to new people and environments? • Can they manage their finances?

My goal is to offer families a strong combination of tools that support life success as well as academic success. I hope more families take advantage of these sessions and create a calm, stress-free environment at home for their high school students, helping them build a confident and resilient future.

You might have often heard the analogy — "you need to put your oxygen mask first before you tend to your child." As a parent, your first instinct is to care for the child first, not yourself.

Children mirror what they observe more than what they hear. Before you want to teach life skills such as self-care, respect, and setting healthy boundaries, as a parent you need to work on these skills first. With this kind of inner work, your parenting can get effortless.

As a parent coach, I work with parents who want to be comfortable putting their oxygen mask on first.

Now that you are aware that you need to work on changing your behavior patterns for a loving and respectful relationship with your child, let's talk about the time it takes to notice the change.

The generic answer you will find online is 6 months with consistent effort

The truth is, the 6 months time varies because it depends on each individual's readiness and belief patterns. With parenting, the change is not linear. Our own upbringing, beliefs that were instilled in us, and our own coping mechanisms are all in the way even before reaching an awareness stage.

When you work with me consistently for at least 6 months, you begin to work with your reaction patterns, and grow comfortable moving toward long lasting change.

Ready to work with me? Email suryakala@tlcs.life for a 30 min free consultation.